


mom, would you wash my back this once?

by meowryo05



Category: DreamSMP, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, author has many underlying mental illnesses, c!philza is a shit dad, sad wilbur lol L, yes the title is from a mitski song shush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28810701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowryo05/pseuds/meowryo05
Summary: c!sbi and other drabbles, wilbur and tommy centric
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	1. bitter water

**Author's Note:**

> if you saw the first drabble before i deleted it no you didnt

it was 10am when wilbur soot woke up with the feeling of dread stuck in his chest. 

he alway had days like these, waking up and not wanting to leave bed, refusing eat to simply lay there staring at the ceiling. 

what he didn’t expect was the overwhelming chemical smell that came with his scratchy breathing. 

wilbur didn’t understand where the smell was coming from and why it was so overwhelming in the first place. he grimaced at the smell, it started making his head hurt. he tried to make the smell go away.

he thought it was simply his room. so, he ventured out into the hallway and downstairs only to realize that he could still smell whatever the awfully suffocating smell was. 

then he thought it was because he hadn’t had eaten or drank anything yet so he gets some water and downs it quickly. he sits at the table and waits only to cough and gag as the smell comes back even stronger. 

it’s starting to make his head hurt. the smell being so overwhelming like it was just stuck in his nose. he had no clue what to do. the smell was starting to make him sick, the small headache getting worse and the urge to vomit being more apparent. 

he quickly heads back up to his room before he actually throws up. now he had another problem. despite living in this house with his dad and brothers he still had no fucking clue how to use the ac unit. so, he was stuck with a stuffy warm room.

he can barely even make it to his bed before he collapses due to the now overwhelming heat and the awful chemical smell. 

now wilbur was having a hard time breathing. the stuffiness of the overwhelming warmth was making wilbur feel even worse as he stared into space in an attempt to ignore the smell. after a while he builds up the strength to get off his bed and open his window and maybe turn on his fan.

maybe if i open the window the fresh air will help with the smell wilbur thinks to himself. 

after sitting himself back on his bed after turning on the fan and opening the window the smell still won’t go away which was making wil frustrated.

not only did he feel unmotivated and generally upset, he felt sick and had a painful headache. 

he could ask phil to try and help with the smell and maybe help him with food but he didn’t want to burden the man. he already had to deal with work, his pink haired older brother, and his gremlin of a little brother. 

wilbur laid there staring at the ceiling, coughing and gagging every so often. it was miserable. 

after a while wilbur tries to force himself to sleep hoping that the smell with go away once he wakes up but the moment his head hits the pillow, the scent comes back in an overwhelming wave. he quickly sits up and starts coughing and gagging. 

he pushes himself off the bed and looks for some type of spray or just something that he could use to try and make the scent go away. 

he finds some cheap cloth spray and douses his sheets and pillow in the cheap lavender smell. finally satisfied he goes back to lay down, the smell still there but not as overwhelming as it was before. he closes his eyes and tired his best to ignore the smell.

it takes him about an hour to finally sleep.


	2. jubilee line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: implied suicide and child neglect

it was late, very late and the station was very very quiet.

he had been sat on a bench by the tube for a bit, hesitant in his decision.

standing up and placing his guitar down, he glances at his phone

he was sure that his dad and brothers were blowing up his phone, one more than the other.   
that didn’t matter though, he had already made his decision.

there was a reason he was here, many reasons.

his father barely cared for him and the youngest, picking his older twin over them in a heartbeat. it was disappointing.

since he was 15 he had to take care of his brother by himself. now he was leaving him to fend for himself. he was more of a father to his own brother than their actual dad who was supposed to raise them. 

still, he’s no better than his dad.

though his hesitation came from the realization that he was leaving so much behind. it’s funny how horrible he felt thinking about how his dad would feel, but it didn’t matter did it? his dad was never there for him, he got yelled at for the stupidest shit. it was tiring and yet he still felt  
selfish.

he was tired, everything hurt and it got harder to get up out of bed. he hadn’t eaten in days, his hair was greasy under his beanie, his mouth was unnaturally dry. it hurt

he had to do it now

his eyes were getting droopy and his walking was sluggish 

he could barely keep standing 

dropping the note and saying his final goodbye, he stares down the tunnel

and when the train comes he jumps

for a second he thinks he sees his father but that doesn’t matter anymore

he was finally free


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m aware that i posted this as it’s own oneshot but decided to add it as a chapter so i wouldn’t completely abandon this lol

Tommy doesn't know why his head hurt so much. The day had been a complete blur. Where is he...? His head felt like cotton. He could barely think. His arm hurts...... What's going on?

He can hear someone talking... Who's with him?

Once he comes back to his senses, he sees Phil yelling at him. What did he do now?

“Tommy, are you even listening to me?” Phil yell-asks, gripping his shoulder harder.

“No sorry, I didn't catch much of that,” Tommy replies, “heads all fuzzy n’ shit.”

“Of course you weren't paying attention” Phil sighs and let's go off Tommy. He walks towards his doorway... When did he get to his room?

“I said that I'm taking your computer and phone tomorrow. I got an email from your school saying that you haven't been to school in a month, a whole fucking month! Do you understand how much trouble I can get in for that? You probably do, you just fucking hate me so you don't care. Anyways, I'm leaving with some workmates to have dinner, I won't be home till later,” Phil says, he's probably going out drinking- “Don't do anything while I'm gone, Wilbur said he would be here soon.” He finishes walking out of Tommy's room.

Tommy sighs. He's heard those same words leave Phil’s mouth more than he'd like to admit. He gets off his bed and walks toward his bathroom. My heads fuckin’ killing me... Where's the damn ibuprofen..? Phil yells from downstairs that he's leaving and he hears the door close.

Shit

Phil took the ibuprofen when Wilbur came over and tried to convince Phil to let him sell it.

Tommy silently walks back to his room, groaning in irritation when he finally realizes what happened. Phil threatened to take away all his shit again and went out drinking. Great

He hopes he's sleeping by the time Phil gets back home.

His head goes fuzzy again, his thoughts going faster. He fucked up again. Why does he keep doing that? What can Phil say to make him care about the consequences? Why does he keep making Phil so mad? Why does he keep hurting his dad? The man who provides food and shelter for him. The man that buys him clothes and loves him unconditionally? ~~The man that ignores him when he tells him he no longer has the motivation to live. The man that favors his older brother over him. The man that always turns the blame on Tommy when he's hurt, that makes everything about himself when Tommy tries to tell him about his awful he makes him feel. The same man that threatened to feed him less if he didn't stop eating a little more than normal....~~

A pit forms in his stomach. He can't breathe.

He desperately needs to hurt. He deserves it surely?

He's such a shit kid. He can't even fucking leave the house. He makes his dad's life a living hell.

Where is his knife?? Did Phil take that too? Fuck

He franticly looks around for something, anything that would help. He looks at his desk.

Scissors. Bingo

He grabs the scissors and grabs the nearest piles of tissues and runs to his bed.

He opens the scissors and starts moving the dull blade back and forth on his forearm. He pulls away once he's satisfied with the cut. He watches as the blood beads on the cut. It doesn't drip because of how dull the scissors were. He continues to harshly pull the blade on his skin. His arm full of small cuts and blood once he finally stops.

Tears fall from his eyes and hit the cuts.

They burn. He takes the tissues and starts cleaning up his arm. It still stings from how hard he rubbed the dried blood. He didn't bother running it under water and collapsed onto his bed. He isn't convinced that Wilbur would be there any time soon. He probably isn't coming at all.

He leaves the bloodied tissues on the floor, Phil probably wouldn't see them anyways. He pulls down his sleeve and closes his eyes, attempting to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmk if there r any spelling mistakes!!

**Author's Note:**

> come bother me on my twtter lol @k0utagore


End file.
